drugs, sex and high school hierarchy.

What a boring day. Well not to boring I guess, an average day at school. Then I got to be with my man till 7ish. But on with the bad news, I am booked till Monday because of work, school and dance. Me and Alex were supposed to hang out today but she is sick and now I am bored. I might clean my room, but why would I stoop that low.


The title of my blog you may question.
I figured since the end of my lower class men years are coming I would sum up high school in one statement. Drugs, who hasn't and doesn't try them? Sex, everyone is coming out of the closet or deciding its not to big of a deal and are taking the plunge. High school hierarchy, well that's exactly what high school is a hierarchy everyone fighting for the top position but does that really exist, I am not so sure, but I am content where I am right now.

4th hour health class.

Not much fun. I thank god every day that we are in a lab though. Each day we are in a lab is one less day that we have to work. Only a few more weeks of school left. 4 or so to be exact.

People sit all around me. One is hot the other is nice. Cannot forget to mention that one is a guy and the other a girl. I have not much to say except hi.

I have been so stressed lately. I am finding it hard to manage my time. I have school, dance, work, friends and boyfriend. It is all hard for me to comprehend, but I like to give everyone equal time so I will deal.

I was going to turn in the best essay ever written about The Great Gatsby but since I e-mailed it to myself it wont print on these computers. Oh well. Time to wither away for 5 more minutes, then lunch time!



peace.

wonderful Saturday

I guess you could call it that.
I took my blinds down, so by 9:30 I gave into the suns rays that were begging me to get up.
Coffee? Well it sounded good so I got out of bed and threw some clothes on. Went to the kitchen, which was a mess. So I turned on 99.5 and listened to some country music while putting dishes in the dishwasher, putting last nights dinner into containers and throwing away old pizza boxes on the counter.
I finally got my coffee by 10:30 and decided to spend some tiem on the computer looking up a song to bring to school for English on Monday. I chose Boats and Birds by Gregory and the Hawks. Mother woke up at a startling 11 o'clock The latest she has slept in in years. We decided a trip to Taco Bell sounded good, but I needed to get gas first. It's my car so I pump the gas mother says.
"$10 on 4." I tell the guy at the register. He takes my twenty and gives me ten back. As I struggle to get this liquid gold to come out of the pump someone starts yelling over some microphone thing.
"PULL THE LEVER DOWN!" the owner says.
I have opnly pumped gas once before, how should I know any better? So anyways, ten dollars. A quarter tank. Not to mention my tank is really small and gets bad gas mileage.
Now I get to clean my room and go to work. It will be tons of F-U-N. Brandon got his license, so I could be out with him tonight. Or spending time with Alex. But no, I much rather go to work.

jealous are we? funny funny, does saying that make you feel better honey?

I hate people that hate everyone
Don't take this one personally.

Even though Conceded people who read this will (only because it is true)
I guess people care about you, but not enough to listen.

I will rant now.


You don't know me, don't judge me. Actually feel free to judge me, but don't claim to hate me. I don't hate you although I have been told that I should. I dislike people but I will smile and respect you. See normally I don't do this kind of thing, this ranting via myspace. I don't usually talk about what I dislike in my About Me hoping for certain people to see it. But the game has changed.

I am sick of being pushed. Not pushed around but pushed to my limits.



P.S.

I say don't take it personally because it is about a few people.

I am over it. I have let out adn now I will go back to keeping it all in.
'


love yous.

Carley, wanna be peace maker.

LETS ALL LEARN A LITTLE SOMETHING.

For your use to distinguish between the two words.
Exploit - To use selfishly for one's own ends.

Expose - To present to view; exhibit; display.


Because Urban Dictionary rocks.
Come correct - To come out rightly. To speak or approach someone with respect, and not with undeniable ignorance. To do something the right way the first time to avoid being bitched by another.

so I got the tickets.

I got three tickets to see my favorite band Mindless Self Indulgence! One ticket for me, my cousin and one of her guy friends... he has to come to protect us my mother says. I get to see my favorite band play, but for a bit of a price. My best friend Alex can't go which sucks a little due to the location.
According to mother Harpo's isn't exactly white teenage girl friendly, or at least the area isn't any good. It is on the out skirts of Detroit and my mom knows people who have gotten their cars jacked from there. Plus my mom went behind my step dads back and got the tickets. Go her!
Anyways I am going to put some videos of stuff they do at every concert they play... The lead singers name is Jimmy, enjoy and tell me what you think of them by listening to their music on myspace or something.

my tigers.

They are making me so sad. I look forward to this time of year every year. Baseball season, always a game on, usually Tigers are winning but no, not this year :[

Well one thing mad me very happy, my favorite bad MIS (Mindless Self Indulgence, or the band that provides the music for the video below) is coming to MI. I can't wait, the show is at Harpo's and I am so freaking happy. New album on April 29th and June 21st my dream comes true :] and I will get to see them again in all their, gay, freaky, rock, techno glory.

What a weekend.

WORK WORK WORK, on Friday night. What fun, well at least it was pay day. Friday night after work was spent talking to Kerry about issues with boys and then I watched Lifetime movies, what a depressing way to fall asleep. Saturday was SO much FUN. The morning started out slow and then picked up. A 2 mile run at the rec center was so invigorating. Noodles and Bucks of the Star with Alex.
Later went to a make up dance class for about 45 minutes (God, I love lyrical). Came home to find out the party we were going to go to was off. So it was "girls night". I arrived clean and smelling good at Alex's house where her, Kerry and Andy were all piled on her bed. I jumped right in and turned on Lifetime, I was in the middle of a movie when I left my house.
Andy was making plans to leave and then we had a great idea "Lets get brandy over here.".... Brandy is the name that Alex and Kerry have given Brandon, don't ask why.
Oh the night got crazy, Alex and Kerry techno raved, me and Brandon... well we spent some time together. Alex ended up in some mini skirt, silver hooker heels and big white sunglasses....

Kerry had to leave, so me and Alex kicked Brandon out too. Then the night settled down. My Big Fat Greek Wedding came on, and we both fell asleep, till Alex made me get up at 5L40 and walk to Dunkin Donuts with her.

You'll Rebel To Anything

You'll Rebel To Anything

Oh, is it love.

I have fallen many times, maybe not when it comes to guys but other things.
I am a big girl and I take life as it comes,
I get hurt and I smile to hide my anger
and laugh to hold back my tears
and I get past it.
If I get hurt and tears, like blood, must spill friends are my band aids.

And I know that falling hurts.
We all have our little trips an spills when it comes to issues not many others see.
I hate to fall, and get hurt,
And believe me when I say I have fallen hard.
But man do I love getting back up.

No one needs to pick me up,
I am strong, on inside and out.

SUMMERTIME.

Oh it is so close, let me see 70 or something days left till summer vacation.
2 months till I get to sleep till noon and stay up till seven in the AM.
2 months till I get to blast out to music in Alex's backyard and sing my lungs out.
2 months till me and Alex and Kerry can throw a pair of tennis shoes on a electric wire at the corner of Deering and Elmira.
2 months till I move into the guest room at Alex's house.
2 months till dance is out and I am free.
2 months till me and Brandon go cruising to absolutely nowhere in particular... before he leaves for the whole summer.
2 months till life gets a little better.
2 months, and I will start getting in tip top shape... well I already started that, just got to finish.

GAY GAY GAY. dumb, I know it.

Strong on the outside and perishable on the inside.
I am built like a car with one passenger
Speeding at 75 miles per hour.

Don't know when to stop, the engine hollers.
Have to get somewhere, got to get there fast.
Only speed as a distraction to forget my past.

Have to know when to slow down.
Have to know when to take things slow.
Even if that means living for today is the only way to go.

Distraction takes your mind off the past,
but why not just think about your future.
Cruising at 35 miles per hour.

BLOND UPDATE.

As of 3pm today I joined the army. Of blonds that is. With one exception, unlike many blonds I am different, I still have some black underneath and I have better sense of fashion then the dumb ones. I refuse to be dumb. Oh yeah, the old side bangs are gone and I am also joining the trendy straight bang group. HAHA. I definitely don't look like anyone from my school. Thank GOD.


I can't wait to walk down the halls and have people give me weird looks, I will kindly glance back with an EVIL SMIRK.

Rainy day song.

Rain, rain go away,
Please come back some other day, but not today
‘Cause I’m not ready to say goodbye to these golden rays of sunshine.
I believe that if you leave I’ll be just fine… Yeah, I’ll be fine.

But for now I’m stuck here waiting for the sun to come and stop this awful downpour,
Then the clouds will clear and I will hear the sound of singing birds outside my window.

Rain, rain go away.
Please come back some other day, but not today
‘Cause I’m not ready to say goodbye to these golden rays of sunshine.

Look Who's Crying Now... you would never guess.

And the truth finally came out. I am happy, when I am not in this house. Mother freaks out on me. Step dad doesn't want to listen when I have something to say. Older sister got straight A's got into, is great at everything she does whether she is drawing, writing, or taking a picture. Hell my little sister even loves her more. My little sister... I love her, and yet barely know her. I am pretty sure everyone thinks my sisters boyfriend Chris loves my little sister more then me.
Escape. My escape from home is easier to get to in the summer time. Alex knows how fucked my family really is. She understands why I purposely lock myself in my room and never want to come out. Why do you think I am online all the time? "Because I have nothing better to do.", is what I tell most people. Far from the truth.
I love my family but somehow when shit goes down in the house I am usually the target. I am always "Being a bitch." "Selfish." "EMO." "Lazy." "I lock myself in my room so my problems with my family are my fault." or my favorite,"Ohhh, someone has middle child syndrome...", usually followed by laughs. I don't have middle child syndrome, I just feel so out of place in my own home.
Wish I could say my fathers house was an escape, along with Alex's. But no. I feel so unwanted by so many less people, more like person. My step mom, she doesn't treat me super horrible, but pretty bad. She always talks about how me and my sister are the reason they got screwed on there taxes. I remember, July 3rd, 2005. Dad and sister got in an argument over the phone and my step mom says to me "It's just, we pay child support so we can see you." Fuck that. If I didn't go over there, they would still be paying child support.
Thanks for reading if you did.
I think I am going to pass out, I feel a bit light headed.
Goodnight.

Crying.

And the truth finally came out. I am happy, when I am not in this house. Mother freaks out on me. Step dad doesn't want to listen when I have something to say. Older sister got straight A's got into, is great at everything she does whether she is drawing, writing, or taking a picture. Hell my little sister even loves her more. My little sister... I love her, and yet barely know her. I am pretty sure everyone thinks my sisters boyfriend Chris loves my little sister more then me.
Escape. My escape from home is easier to get to in the summer time. Alex knows how fucked my family really is. She understands why I purposely lock myself in my room and never want to come out. Why do you think I am online all the time? "Because I have nothing better to do.", is what I tell most people. Far from the truth.
I love my family but somehow when shit goes down in the house I am usually the target. I am always "Being a bitch." "Selfish." "EMO." "Lazy." "I lock myself in my room so my problems with my family are my fault." or my favorite,"Ohhh, someone has middle child syndrome...", usually followed by laughs. I don't have middle child syndrome, I just feel so out of place in my own home.
Wish I could say my fathers house was an escape, along with Alex's. But no. I feel so unwanted by so many less people, more like person. My step mom, she doesn't treat me super horrible, but pretty bad. She always talks about how me and my sister are the reason they got screwed on there taxes. I remember, July 3rd, 2005. Dad and sister got in an argument over the phone and my step mom says to me "It's just, we pay child support so we can see you." Fuck that. If I didn't go over there, they would still be paying child support.
Thanks for reading if you did.
I think I am going to pass out, I feel a bit light headed.
Goodnight.

While only in the dance
Opening their hearts to the old memories,
Closes his eyes and smiles,
A farewell written with lipstick
On the bathroom mirror
And photographs thrown on the floor
Are everything 'that has left
On the day that they and 'round.
If you now ask
If he still thinks
You respond: "sometimes ...",
But sometimes dreams
Follow different paths
And not meet most '.

A DREAM OR TWO, MAYBE THREE.

I have three dreams two kinda go together and the other is so random and most don't believe I can do it.

1) And the Nobel prize goes to Carley Hewitt:
I never really liked science and math in school then I realized that if I did my homework every once and awhile I could ace the class. I WAS REALLY GOOD AT SOMETHING. I am obsessed with algebraic formulas and haven't taken chemistry you but have never been so excited for a class.

2) Ok class now we are going to read the work of Carley Hewitt:
I always had and still have little things in my mind that I always felt the need to write down, needless to say if you have read anything I write it is pretty corny. But my life is like a novel. As I walk down the halls at school or drive in the car I am always narrating my life in my head, seriously.

3) Now preforming... :
Actually I love to sing, only my close friends get to hear me, or people who ask. I am ok, well I am good, but not like Aretha Franklin good, like Saving Jane meet Papa Roach good. Even if I just sang back up for a small band that never gets gigs I would be happy. Any offers?

Below: A psycadellic LSD thing. haha

Yeah I am back to ranting and not making you suffer with my bad poetry. So it is 11:19. I am in the computer lab provided by Livonia Franklin High School. Half the computers are broken and then other half are slow as fuck. I hate typing on these keyboards, the keys are so hard to push down. But I never do much typing, because I never do my class work. Mostly I go on my photobucket, hotmail or the weather channel website. Proxies are hard to come by because most have been blocked so I am denied to use the myspace.
Anyways, health is so boring, only my book and friend Megan to relate to, ha. We have been in this lab for well over a week to do a group project. Me and Megan listened to music while Aly did most the work. Oh well, as long as I am grateful I guess. Our group got the drug LSD, AWESOME. I kinda wanted ganja, but whatever.
Well it is now 11:27. Ten more minutes till my teacher lets us leave for lunch... 3 minutes before the bell rings may I add.



Listening to iPod... Taylor Swift - Teardrops on My Guitar. Hope I don't get written up again.