What is love? Its been described as a tingly feeling, a punch in the gut, or a somewhat magnetic pull that attracts to it’s polar opposite. An although I feel I have been in love, I have never had these feelings when meeting someone’s eyes at first sight. Instead of waiting a lifetime to feel these somewhat unreasonable symptoms, I will lead myself to love, and no matter what all might say, it is possible to lead oneself to love.
A man must pass my checklist of love to even be considered for a chance of winning my heart. He must make me laugh. He must be able to make me smile. I can’t stand a relationship unless it contains, many disagreements, at least one quarrel a week, and threats to leave the other every other month.
It is these imperfections that we fall in love with. And maybe these imperfections are why I believed I was in love in the past. Yes, I am contradicting myself. But, I have honestly been convinced that these things are what make people fall in love.
Fatal attraction, that’s what they call it. So why shouldn’t some of a relationship be lethal? I suppose it is possible that this tingly feeling exist, but I have never felt it, so how could it be real? I have been in love after all, or maybe I just had love for that person, and never really fell into it. Perhaps that is what makes it fatal, the falling part. I suppose I only walked into it, or was brought into it, just like my mother bringing me into the world.
From the day I was born, I loved her, but there was no falling required. No risk of injury, no chance of rejection. It was just love, the only love at first sight I am sure I have experienced.
Looking is hard, maybe I’m just looking too hard.
It could be right in front of me, or down the street.
All I know is, love is not here, and that is exactly where I want it.
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