BLOND UPDATE.

As of 3pm today I joined the army. Of blonds that is. With one exception, unlike many blonds I am different, I still have some black underneath and I have better sense of fashion then the dumb ones. I refuse to be dumb. Oh yeah, the old side bangs are gone and I am also joining the trendy straight bang group. HAHA. I definitely don't look like anyone from my school. Thank GOD.


I can't wait to walk down the halls and have people give me weird looks, I will kindly glance back with an EVIL SMIRK.

Rainy day song.

Rain, rain go away,
Please come back some other day, but not today
‘Cause I’m not ready to say goodbye to these golden rays of sunshine.
I believe that if you leave I’ll be just fine… Yeah, I’ll be fine.

But for now I’m stuck here waiting for the sun to come and stop this awful downpour,
Then the clouds will clear and I will hear the sound of singing birds outside my window.

Rain, rain go away.
Please come back some other day, but not today
‘Cause I’m not ready to say goodbye to these golden rays of sunshine.

Look Who's Crying Now... you would never guess.

And the truth finally came out. I am happy, when I am not in this house. Mother freaks out on me. Step dad doesn't want to listen when I have something to say. Older sister got straight A's got into, is great at everything she does whether she is drawing, writing, or taking a picture. Hell my little sister even loves her more. My little sister... I love her, and yet barely know her. I am pretty sure everyone thinks my sisters boyfriend Chris loves my little sister more then me.
Escape. My escape from home is easier to get to in the summer time. Alex knows how fucked my family really is. She understands why I purposely lock myself in my room and never want to come out. Why do you think I am online all the time? "Because I have nothing better to do.", is what I tell most people. Far from the truth.
I love my family but somehow when shit goes down in the house I am usually the target. I am always "Being a bitch." "Selfish." "EMO." "Lazy." "I lock myself in my room so my problems with my family are my fault." or my favorite,"Ohhh, someone has middle child syndrome...", usually followed by laughs. I don't have middle child syndrome, I just feel so out of place in my own home.
Wish I could say my fathers house was an escape, along with Alex's. But no. I feel so unwanted by so many less people, more like person. My step mom, she doesn't treat me super horrible, but pretty bad. She always talks about how me and my sister are the reason they got screwed on there taxes. I remember, July 3rd, 2005. Dad and sister got in an argument over the phone and my step mom says to me "It's just, we pay child support so we can see you." Fuck that. If I didn't go over there, they would still be paying child support.
Thanks for reading if you did.
I think I am going to pass out, I feel a bit light headed.
Goodnight.

Crying.

And the truth finally came out. I am happy, when I am not in this house. Mother freaks out on me. Step dad doesn't want to listen when I have something to say. Older sister got straight A's got into, is great at everything she does whether she is drawing, writing, or taking a picture. Hell my little sister even loves her more. My little sister... I love her, and yet barely know her. I am pretty sure everyone thinks my sisters boyfriend Chris loves my little sister more then me.
Escape. My escape from home is easier to get to in the summer time. Alex knows how fucked my family really is. She understands why I purposely lock myself in my room and never want to come out. Why do you think I am online all the time? "Because I have nothing better to do.", is what I tell most people. Far from the truth.
I love my family but somehow when shit goes down in the house I am usually the target. I am always "Being a bitch." "Selfish." "EMO." "Lazy." "I lock myself in my room so my problems with my family are my fault." or my favorite,"Ohhh, someone has middle child syndrome...", usually followed by laughs. I don't have middle child syndrome, I just feel so out of place in my own home.
Wish I could say my fathers house was an escape, along with Alex's. But no. I feel so unwanted by so many less people, more like person. My step mom, she doesn't treat me super horrible, but pretty bad. She always talks about how me and my sister are the reason they got screwed on there taxes. I remember, July 3rd, 2005. Dad and sister got in an argument over the phone and my step mom says to me "It's just, we pay child support so we can see you." Fuck that. If I didn't go over there, they would still be paying child support.
Thanks for reading if you did.
I think I am going to pass out, I feel a bit light headed.
Goodnight.

While only in the dance
Opening their hearts to the old memories,
Closes his eyes and smiles,
A farewell written with lipstick
On the bathroom mirror
And photographs thrown on the floor
Are everything 'that has left
On the day that they and 'round.
If you now ask
If he still thinks
You respond: "sometimes ...",
But sometimes dreams
Follow different paths
And not meet most '.

A DREAM OR TWO, MAYBE THREE.

I have three dreams two kinda go together and the other is so random and most don't believe I can do it.

1) And the Nobel prize goes to Carley Hewitt:
I never really liked science and math in school then I realized that if I did my homework every once and awhile I could ace the class. I WAS REALLY GOOD AT SOMETHING. I am obsessed with algebraic formulas and haven't taken chemistry you but have never been so excited for a class.

2) Ok class now we are going to read the work of Carley Hewitt:
I always had and still have little things in my mind that I always felt the need to write down, needless to say if you have read anything I write it is pretty corny. But my life is like a novel. As I walk down the halls at school or drive in the car I am always narrating my life in my head, seriously.

3) Now preforming... :
Actually I love to sing, only my close friends get to hear me, or people who ask. I am ok, well I am good, but not like Aretha Franklin good, like Saving Jane meet Papa Roach good. Even if I just sang back up for a small band that never gets gigs I would be happy. Any offers?

Below: A psycadellic LSD thing. haha

Yeah I am back to ranting and not making you suffer with my bad poetry. So it is 11:19. I am in the computer lab provided by Livonia Franklin High School. Half the computers are broken and then other half are slow as fuck. I hate typing on these keyboards, the keys are so hard to push down. But I never do much typing, because I never do my class work. Mostly I go on my photobucket, hotmail or the weather channel website. Proxies are hard to come by because most have been blocked so I am denied to use the myspace.
Anyways, health is so boring, only my book and friend Megan to relate to, ha. We have been in this lab for well over a week to do a group project. Me and Megan listened to music while Aly did most the work. Oh well, as long as I am grateful I guess. Our group got the drug LSD, AWESOME. I kinda wanted ganja, but whatever.
Well it is now 11:27. Ten more minutes till my teacher lets us leave for lunch... 3 minutes before the bell rings may I add.



Listening to iPod... Taylor Swift - Teardrops on My Guitar. Hope I don't get written up again.