"Then come the lights shining on you from above. You are a performer. You forget all you learned, the process of technique, the fear, the pain, you even forget who you are you become one with the music, the lights, indeed one with the dance." ~Shirley Maclaine

Dance classes start again tomorrow for 4ish weeks :]
Two weeks till my workshop for pointe.

my fish.

I had two last night.
Chica-wahhh and Sushi.
I woke up, Sushi died.
So now I have to keeps Kerry's fish alive.
Oh wish me luck.

Work tonight, woo.

DOLLZ

I got bored.

WISH LIST

So, I am going on a shopping trip with my special friend... you know who you are.
I am going to distinguish my style, or newish one.
Here are some things I need to pick up, mostly from Hot Topic and Forever21

The Past.

Ever notice that the past always has to be all up in your present?
No idea what I am gabbing about?
Basically some people from the past come back and stir up feelings that you have finally gotten over.
I hate guys, well not all of them, but any that are from my past and shouldn't be anywhere near my future.

so yeah

I am on this weird sleeping schedule.
Can't fall asleep till after 3, don't wake up till around 11:30.
idk.
I am bored, work tonight... oh relief!
Only need to get through tomorrow and I should be golden.

that's tea for you

ppl who read my blog

GET AIM right now!

I am so bored, random ppl to talk to would be nice.

IM @ carleyy love x

it only takes like 3 minutes.

why does music make me cry?

So I was talking to Tommy about music and I decided to tell him to check out Imogen Heap. She is a great singer, I know about her music because of dance, she sings very popular music for people to use for lyrical dances (see video bellow). Then I started to listen to some of her music because I hadn't in awhile. Her lyrics are wonderful, and the beat is simple yet compelling. I find my mind totally absorbed in the song. I stand and start making up a lyrical dance to her music. And it fills my mind with playful joy, yet I can't help but be a little saddened. It is somewhat depressing, the lyrics a bit, but mostly the way she uses the rhythm and beat.
Well I sound like a writer now :]

It's 3am, she wont put out, lets go makeout with her friends, makeout with her friends friends

(my flair wall from Facebook)

excuse me do you want to screw?
your so amazing in the sack.
I'm so amazing in the sack.
I rather fuck you then kiss you.
I want a lot of profanity.
Now take those clothes off, and show me what your mad e of.

Sorry, MSI moment. Anyways, random topic.
I have certain people I want to see without clothes on, guys of course.
Famous and not famous.
Not because I want to check them out, but I have a curious feeling that haunts me lol.
I always look at people and wonder, six pack, flab, beer gut, Ethiopian(super skinny) or just average?

yeah, I am bored and don't work till Friday, I have to sit in this house all day.
Maybe people that are able to should stop by my house, I will pay lol.

Listening to - Issues by MSI
Never Wanted Nothing More by Kenny Chesney

walking without my iPod.

I am so frucking, yes fRucking bored.
I had to walk home from work tonight, totally fine.
But I didn't have my iPod with me and I thought I was going to die.
Music keeps me going.

Anyways,
I miss Brandon, but I am trying to not let it ruin my summer.
Grounded till Friday.
Work Friday and Saturday.
Spree on Sunday... Fireworks and such.


Back to my letter composing.

Listening to - The Nighttime is Our Time by Before Their Eyes

FACEBOOK ALERT.

look me up on Facebook, yeah I got really bored.

ha. like asking a skank how she feels about promiscuous sex (Blogging so I don't kill myself.)

I have been grounded one freaking day and I am going to die of boredom, I actually took a 6 hour nap from 12 to 6ish.

Random Survey:
Do you have any sores in your mouth right now?
- eww no
Have you ever smoked a cigarette?
- yeah
Do you have a cell phone?
- yes
What are you thinking about right now?
- beign fucking grounded sucks
Are you watching tv?
- nope, music time
Hows your hair?
- up and nasty
What color underwear are you wearing?
- pink, green and white polka dots :D
Do you text a lot?
- sometimes
What color are your toenails?
- red
Do you love your friends?
- of course
Do you love summer?
- better then going to school
Is your phone a piece?
- huh?
Is there someone you don't talk to that meant a lot to you?
- ehh yeah
Did the last guy/girl that hurt you ever apologize for hurting you?
- umm I don't think so, he doesn't even know he hurt me
How do you feel about premarital sex?
- ha. (like asking a skank how she feels about promiscuous sex)
If you were completely broke, would you sell your body?
- umm no thanks
Is your room messy?
- a little bit, I just cleaned
What brand shirt are you wearing?
- hanes :]
When was the last time you went to the mall?
- forever ago
If you FOUND a million dollars, would you try to find the owner?
- I would keep it
Is there any shopping bags around you and from where?
- no, that is surprising
Do you think anyone will read this survey?
- the few people that read my blog
Who is the last person that messaged you on Myspace?
- Stefany
Did you like back massages?
- yeah...
Are you cold?
- kinda hot actually
When was the last time you were at the beach?
- hmm a few weeks ago
When was the last time your mom/dad yelled at you?
- kinda today
Honestly, has anyone ever seen you in your underwear?
- a few people, a few people have seen me in less lol
Honestly, how many people have you completely fallen for?
- one
Honestly, what color is the shirt you're wearing now?
- white
Honestly, whats on your mind?
- oh, friends, my hone not vibrating, being grounded
Honestly, what made you last cry?
-my mom blaming me and grounding me for something I didn't do
Honestly, did you watch Shot of Love with Tila Tequila?
- no
Honestly, who or what makes you happy?
- friends, boy, work, dance
Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute?
- OH MY GOD YES....... I want to cry because I can't see him
Honestly, do you have deep secrets?
- one, but I kinda let it slip
Honestly, have you ever made anyone cry?
- idk, I doubt it
Honestly, are you normally a happy person?
- I try really really hard to be, you have no clue what I do to keep a smile on
Honestly, if you could go back 3 months and change something would you?
- I don't think so
When was the last time you saw the first person on your top?
- this morning around 8?
Who is your last text?
- alex
What is the last vehicle you drove?
- mini van
What are you doing tomorrow?
- nadda then working
Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
- a few, but I just ignore them
Whats more romantic sunrise or sunset?
- sunrise, it means you must have had one killer night
If someone did like you, how should they let you know?
- just tell me, we will work it all out
What is bugging you right now?
- don't even ask
Whats something you wish you could understand better?
- people
How late did you stay up last night and why?
- well I didn't go to bed until like 1 pm today
Do you believe in love at first sight?
- maybe second or third sight
Do you hate the last boy/girl you were talking to?
- my mom? she's ok
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
- Kerry
Where was your default picture taken?
- my living room
Who were the last people over your house?
- umm, I have no clue, I think Kerry for like ten minutes
What are you listening to?
- Jack Johnson
Who are your favorite people to talk to when you're down?
- idk, Kerry or Tommy or Alex
Something that made you laugh today?
- Kerry
Has anyone ever tried to shove their religion in your face?
- yeah, I hated it
Do you smile often?
- oh yes
What is your relationship status?
- taken
Last thing you ate?
- pizza
Who told you they loved you last?
- umm Kerry or Alex
Are you friends with any past flings?
- not really
Are you ticklish?
- way to ticklish
What were you doing a year ago today?
- working I am guessing or fucking around with my friends
How many times have you been in love?
- once
Where is your boyfriend right now?
- camp for 7 weeks :[
Last place you hugged someone?
- Cory's house
Last person you text messaged?
- Alex... psh
What kind of phone do you have?
- pink razor :[
Do you know anyone named Matt?
- a couple
What color is your hair?
- black
When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
- like a half hour ago
Do you like someone but aren't sure if they like you back?
- I know he loves me
What have you eaten today?
- pizza, subway, lots of gum
Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
- straight
Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
- amber
Do you currently have a hickey?
- no :[
Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone?
- Kerry
Do you think you're smart?
- some what
Who was the last person you took a picture with?
- ummm idk?
Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
- yeah, I was a waste
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
- mom
Where are you right now?
- my room
Can you vote next election?
- nope
Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
- yeah
Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
- just last night
Who did you last go out to eat with?
- Alex, Kerry and Andy
Do you have unlimited texting?
- Thank the lord!
Do you wear glasses?
- yeah, they hot
What are you looking forward to this month?
- the spree
Is the sun shining?
- no, it's night time
Are you happy with life right now?
- yeah
Would you ever smile at a stranger?
- I think it makes someones day every once and awhile
Are you currently jealous?
- not really
What jewelry are you wearing?
- just my head band thing I always wear
What were you doing at 10pm Friday night?
- umm talking to tommy?
What did you do today?
- doctors, cleaned my closet, nap, watched tv
Have you met anyone new since summer started?
- Austins girlfriend
What color pen ink do you like?
- black or blue
Whats the weather like?
- idk
Do you use cds or ipods more?
- iPod
What kind of camera do you have?
- out of order
Have you ever been to an amusement park?
- six flags and cedar point :]
Do you know how to burn a cd?
- umm yeah
What was your first word?
- idk
Shorts or capris?
- shorts
Do you believe in a best friend or a lot of good friends?
- best friend
How do you get paid?
- once a week
Whats your favorite thing about a letter opener?
- it doubles as a weapon
Closest object to you thats brown?
- tea mug
What will you be doing on your seventeenth birthday?
- idk, thats two birthdays away
Do you like getting mail?
- yeah! I wish I would get a freaking letter back from Brandon!
Do you like the way George Bush handles things?
- not at all
What are you listening to right now?
- Amy Winehouse
Do you like KFC?
- the bowls
When is the last time you went to the mall?
- you already asked, idfk
What do you want to be doing right now?
- fooling with Brandon, hey I am being honest
Do you sleep with the door open or shut?
- shut of course, I sleep naked basically
Whats your favorite thing about winter?
- snow
Are your nails painted? If so what color?
- chipped black
What color are your pants?
- black with a red stripe on the sides
Where do you live?
- L Town
If you could meet anyone in the world - RIGHT NOW - who would you want to meet?
- Jimmy Urine
Whats your favorite smell?
- gasoline

Listening to - Our Song by Taylor Swift
Girl All The Bad Guys Want by Bowling for Soup
Shake It by Metro Station
Samson by Regina Spektor
Better Together by Jack Johnson
The Sounds of Settling by Death Cab for Cutie
Stay Beautiful by Taylor Swift
You Know I'm No Good by Amy Winehouse

I swear.

I have the fucking hiccups and a sinus headache and my mother thinks I go out drinking... as if.

I stay up all night and come home a little slap happy and my mother thinks I am high... "yeah mom, we were snorting lines off Alex's grandmas night stand!"


Listening to - Goodnight by The Birthday Massacre

work is a haven

lately, I have been getting so stoked to go into work.
idk why.
maybe it's the people, they make me laugh.
maybe it's the free food, no, I need to go anny for a few days.
idk what it is, but I love going to work lately.


Listening to - Bitches by MSI.

my neck is so sore.

Anyways, that was the best show I have ever been to. We weren't that close to the stage, but that didn't stop me from yelling obscenities at Jimmy Urine (MSI lead singer) I danced like a freak, head banging and such, even some butt and chest popping haha. I thank my cousin, Erin and Chunkx for making this the best show ever.

Special thanks to Chunkx for keeping me safe and making sure I was doing good all night. (and making me wear my seatbelt)


Work Tonight. YAY!

Listeing to - When I Think About Angels by Cute is What We Aim For
You'll Rebel To Anything by MSI

been awake for 28.5 hours straight.. no I just need to last through work :D

So I just got home from Alex's.
I have been up since 10:30 am... yesterday.
Oh well I am a little slap happy.
Work till 9, that will be a blast! Sometimes the people just cheer me up a bit.
Brandon left for camp today :[
On a great note MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE tomorrow!!!!!!!


Listening to- I'm Still A Guy by Brad Paisley
What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts

Even if you don't like country music you have to love this music video.
It makes me cry every time I watch it.
Makes me want to save someone.


Listening to: Everyday - Rascal Flatts
These Days - Rascal Flatts

A week, good and sad!

Monday - Work 4 till 9.
With Brandon after.
Tuesday - Lunch with Brandon.
Last dance class, till July at least.
Wednesday - Spending the day with Brandon.
Jack Johnson concert with Brandon
(where I might see my English teacher Mr. Bobis).
Thursday - Maybe hanging with Brandon.
Dreaded doctors appointment.
Friday - Brandon leaves for camp till August 10th "/
Work 4-9.
Saturday - Going to my cousins to get ready for Mindless Self Indulgence concert.
MSI concert with her and her friends.
(where I might see Nicole and Shannon).
Sunday - Hangover, haha, sure...
Work 4-9.

Hey baby, is that you? Wow your hair got so long

yeah, yeah I love it, I really do....

Blast from the past... CARLEY'S HAIR HALL OF FAME!

one year.

Listening to: Always - Blink 182
These Days - Rascal Flatts

When I grow up, I want to be famous

me: I want to sing.

him: what song?

me: or dance, or both at the same time

him: so do it
me: as for a song? something hardcore that I can pretend I am famous while I sing, LIKE A FUCKING ROCK STAR.... as if

him: lol

him: maybe some day

me: pshhh

him: you never know

me: I would settle for back up , but my voice aint so great
him: i love your voice

me: when I am talking maybe

him: no. i love it all the time.

him: talking

him: singing

him: when you first wake up

me: you are to cheesy and bias or whatever. once again the opinion of someone who isn't in love with me would be nice, but not many listen to me sing... they block me out

him: w/e.i guess i am bias. but either way. i love your voice

you tell me.

"Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment"
-Anonymous

Is it understandable for me to be Jealous? I mean my 19 year old sister is closer to my 5 year old sister then me, I am only 3 years younger then her. She has no clue how much i look up to her. How I wish I could style myself like her and have anything near her talent. To be in the presence of her as a friend is like a great prize I can never win.

Listening to: Fidelity - Regina Spektor

I think I'm ready, ready for it.

Blah. Note to people from past, please stop signing online and totally not talk to me, it is a pet peeve of mine.

First day of summer:

1. Babysat.
2. Has PotBellys for lunch.
3. Swimming with Alex and Kerry.
4. Party City, McDonalds and some bakery with Alex and Kerry too.
5. Work 4 till 9.
6. Hungout with Brandon till 10.
7. Now I get to stay up and try to fix my computer... and thinking about something that should have stayed in September of 2007.

I hate computers

So my computer got a Trojan virus and I had to backup my 500 pictures and restore my computer. Now it wont let me do the windows updates that I need to do. Gahh.

On a good note, school is out and summer is in. And I got in trouble already but oh well.

Work tonight and tomorrow, Brandon's Friday, dance recital Saturday and fathers day on Sunday.

crying over lost cats.

So my Saturday night was great. I got paid and made a little extra cash.
I played Xbox 360 with Amber and Chris and we watched Semi- Pro.
But of course I can't be away from my phone for more then an hour without drama going down.
I mean I hate no one, the only people I have a right to hate I love. But shit is really starting to piss me off.
After getting advice from a friend I now know not to ignore, fight, or even try to be mean.
I just want to work this drama out so we can all have a good summer.
What really set me off though is I was laying in bed talking to Brandon and questioning people morals or sanity and I started to talk about my cat Misty and my other cat Star.
Talking about them triggered tears to fall, hard, because we had to have both put to sleep.

Other then that it was a good night.
I am over it, done listening to people.
I wish everyone else would feel that way too.







Currently Listening to: I'm a Loser Baby by Beck
Let's Get Fucked Up and Die by Motion City Soundtrack
I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry

16 and prego.

Really, is it that hard to use protection? And some girls are so dumb thinking they want and can handle a kid at the age of 16.
"I'll just get an abortion" is what most girls say. I am pro choice, but abortion isn't the answer usually. Just think the emotional and physical pain you would have to go through. Your whole life knowing that you killed a innocent child.
"Adoption then!" well it's better then abortion I suppose. But think about it. Going through life knowing that you have a child that you can never see. You go through 9 months of hell just to give away everything you "worked" for.

random topic, but I found this picture and wanted to write about it.

every 18, every 19.

I leave the gas on
Walk the allies in the dark
Sleep with candles burning
I leave the door unlocked
I'm weaving a rope and
Running all the red lights
Did I get your attention
Because I'm sending all the signs
That the clocking is ticking
And I'll be giving my two weeks
Pick your favorite shade of black
You'd best prepare a speech
Say something funny
Say something sweet
But don't say that you loved me

I'm still breathing
Though we've been dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We're going down for sure
Already lost a grip
On this abandoned ship
Oh...

Maybe I was too pale
Maybe I was too fat
Maybe you had better
Better luck in the sack
No formal education
And I swore way too much
But I swear you didn't fucking care
Because we were in love

So as I write this letter
And shed my last tear
It's all for the better
That we end this year
Let's close this chapter say one last prayer
But don't say that you loved me

I'm still breathing
Though we've been dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We're going down for sure
Already been diagnosed
So let's give up the ghost

She Wrote About Me In Her Blog

Kerry's myspace song "She Wrote About Me In Her Blog"
by some band inspired this blog.

I know how you feel, I feel it to, baby everything that you do makes me fall deeper in love with you.
Your morning breath, it makes me shiver.
The way you makes the most hideous faces makes me quiver.
How much cheesier could I get.
I love you baby, I hope you never forget!

(to kerrrrrrrrrry)

"like oh my god.
man I swear.
it's so gay she is always dying her hair."

I like change.
Get over it.

no more blond. me and alex got bored last night so now I have black hair.

I met a guy last night and girl I felt the earth move.

So, controversy. Abortion, politics, global warming, war, drugs, who likes who. The world is full of it. I am sick of it. So I though I would just come out and say what I think. I am pro choice. This global warming thing is just one of Earths cycles, who is to say it hasn't happened before? I am all for change so I like Obama, but I hate the choices out government makes. I don't support the war, but I do kinda want to be in the Army, Marines or something. Go you if you do drugs, just don't be stupid about it. If you like me, GO YOU. If you don't, GO YOU, at least you have your own opinion.

I dislike:

• Freshman girls that try to flaunt they get around (or they want people to think they are whores).
• Over played hip hop and R&B songs.
• Indie bands play their music on the radio and people say they love that band, when I have known about that band for years.
• Having to repeat myself.
• Thinking someone is my friend, realizing they hate me.

I like:

• Sunflowers.
• Tanning.
• Those nights I spend with my friends that I will never forget.
• Always knowing that I have at least one friend that will always have my back.
• Chesey romance novels about vampires and scared teenager girls.
• Edward Cullen, he exist, I know it.